It's always the same thing. After liking someone, finding out they aren't interested and then sharing your sorrows (as well as a gallon of ice cream) with your best friend, they will say, "Don't worry, you'll find someone when you least expect it and they'll be worth the wait!" The first time you hear it, you smile and respond cheerfully, "You're right and I can definitely wait that long!" Unfortunately, after years and years of no one else sharing the same feelings and hearing the same thing over and over again...well you start thinking that maybe they're wrong! To make matters worse, the people who usually give you this advice are those who are in committed relationships (i.e. married). I don't think that their advice really counts because they've been out of the game for so long, they've forgotten what it's like!
You start to believe that MAYBE, just maybe you're one of those people who is never meant to be with anyone; that you're going to end up alone! I mean, don't get me wrong, I want to get married, but whenever I like anyone, they're never interested...so maybe it's a way of Allah telling me that I'm not meant to be with anyone! It's depressing, but maybe I should just accept it and move on.
The best part in all of this, is that the guys that say that they don't like you, usually give you some lame excuse. These excuses usually are: I'm busy with my career, I don't really like you that way, and I'm not ready for marriage. Of course, these same people (with the lame excuses) are usually the ones that get married two months after they've give you these excuses. So essentially what they're telling you, is that they DO want to get married...just not with you! That realization was probably one of the most heartbreaking, because then you then start to wonder if there is anyone out there who DOES want to get married to you.
Then there are the guys that you did like, and then you've gotten over and everything is fine...until they tell you they're marrying someone you know. Now you've already come to the realization that things wouldn't have worked out between the two of you, but when you find out they're getting married, you just lose it. You're sad and think that there is something wrong with you and you really will die alone, with only your cats to comfort you :( Of course none of it is true (at least I'd like to think so) but when you see everyone else getting married and you're just stuck being single for the rest of your life, you start to wonder why.
There are so many times when I'll ask my friends, and they'll say, "Well I don't know why you're single!" I never know how to respond to these people. Part of me is flattered that they think I'm that great, but the other half (the one that always wins) always responds by saying, "Well clearly there's something because I AM single...and always have been!" My friends say it's because I do it to myself. That if I wanted to, I could have anyone. I haven't put this theory into action, so I don't know if it's true. I guess the guys that I did like didn't count because I didn't pursue them properly? I'm not really sure what I have to do, but hopefully someone will point me in the right direction because I'm absolutely clueless! Some people have told me to flirt more, but I feel like I shouldn't because it's unIslamic or something. In any case, I don't know how to flirt, and couldn't even if I wanted to!
Le sigh! I guess I'll just leave this to the experts and go back to reading books and watching movies...they never seem to hurt my feelings!
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