Single...

So it's no secret that I've been single all my life. It's not that I haven't had my fair share of crushes, but for some reason, anyone that I've liked, hasn't liked me back. I try not to give it much thought, but now that I'm getting older, I'm wondering if it's really something I've done wrong. I have talked about this with my best guy friend, and he says that there's nothing to worry; that everything happens when it's meant to happen. Which I guess is true, but to have been single ALL my life...well that's a bit ridiculous, right? Though to be fair, I have never been into the dating scene. I have always wanted to be with ONE guy, and that's it. I guess that's what makes it so difficult to find ONE guy.

The other big reason, is that I've always valued my religion but because I'm not a hijab, guys assume that I don't really care. The guys that DO care about religion, are only looking for hijabi girls! It's so frustrating! I mean, I know that there are days I forget to pray, and there are still TONS of things I want to learn about my religion, but it doesn't mean I don't care! Also, it's assume that all hijabi girls are perfect, and know everything about Islam. It breaks my heart that I constantly have to prove myself to everyone!

On top of all that, I also like learning and dream of getting my PhD somewhere down the road. Which apparently scares people away!

As if THAT weren't enough, I have curly hair, which according to someone, (who shall be referred to as M) guys do not like girls with curly hair! That makes me furious because I LOVE my hair! I like that it makes me different, regardless of what people say. I'm happy with who I am, and what I look like...but apparently I'm the only one! I also have tanned skin, and in Pakistani culture, I'm too "dark" and only fair skin is considered beautiful. This also upsets me because this is who I am, and I refuse to change myself for anyone. M says that I'm being stubborn because I won't change my appearance to get married. I figure, if someone doesn't want to like me for who I am both on the inside and out, then they're not worth my time! Sadly, because of this mentality, no one seems to notice me.

The only thing I can take comfort in now, is that I'm almost finished teachers college. Once I finish, if I don't get a job close to home, then I'll teach abroad. I've always wanted to travel, so this would be the perfect excuse. I guess that's the reason why I'm not finding anyone, because I'm meant to travel abroad and make a difference there. Yes I'm a little sad because to be honest, I've always wanted to find my soul mate...someone to love me. Unfortunately, I may have to wait a very long time for that. Who knows, maybe I'm just one of those people who is never meant to fall in love, let alone get married.

I guess I'm okay with that...